OK, I’m venting here and speaking for myself but I think you get the idea.
From my viewpoint, the gay hookup apps (and sites) have created a caustic hookup culture, whereby it is almost expected that two (or more) people get together exclusively for the purposes of sex. Worse, it’s riddled with judgement and shame – often built right into the apps!
Take a look at your app. Did you notice all of the different categories you can box yourself into? Did you select jock? How about wolf? Are you slightly overweight and picked “bear” because you weren’t sure where you belonged?
Just in case you are wondering, a “hookup” can be defined as a brief sexual encounter with another person that can last for a few minutes to several hours.
As a result of all the hooking up, just look at some of the common terms that are now part of the gay lexicon. Do any of these sound familiar?
- Blow and go (obvious)
- ParTy (crystal meth)
- Generou$ (play for pay)
- Pig (uninhibited)
1. The sex usually sucks
Look, I’m no goody two-shoes. I’ve done my fair share of hooking up. But over the years, I’ve noticed that a lot of guys are really crappy in bed. Maybe it’s because they’ve been doing it so much that any real meaning has been lost.It’s like hookups have become the new fast food of gaydom. If you know anything about fast food, you will agree that what’s advertised on TV and what you get in real life are completely different. Bad analogy, but you get what I’m saying.
2. It’s mechanical
Another thing that the gay hookup apps have brought us is robotic, mechanical sex. It’s like everyone is on auto-pilot, disconnected from their partners and just going through the motions. I don’t know if this is a function of frequency or what but rarely is there any passion during a hookup.Since there is no feeling behind the experience, I’ve decided to become a big proponent of just letting a stranger drain you. Honestly, what’s the difference? There is none.
3. Real dates are now confusing
Since we all seem to be hooking up with one another in gaydom, the entire dating thing has become strangely confused. How many times have you asked yourself: Is this a date or a hookup? On more than a few dates now, I’ve had guys expect that I put out on the first encounter.WTF is that? I mean, isn’t there something to be said about waiting a bit and allowing the attraction to build up? Why does it have to be right now? I’ll tell you why – because of our gay hookup culture, thanks to the apps.
4. It’s rejection based
We gays are already sensitive to rejection. Most of us have had to struggle with some form of it for most of our lives. But the apps have only made things go from bad to worse. How many times have you been immediately rejected by a dude after swapping pics on Grindr? What about Scruff?And God forbid you use a photograph that is more than a few months old. You’ll be sent away like yesterday’s trash! Some people have even taken to bragging about it – like it’s some kind of competitive sport. Ever read this: “If your pics are more than a month old, don’t contact me.”
5. Permission slip for bigotry
While I admit this has been going on for some time, it seems like bigotry within our own community against different groups is rampant. How many times have you seen any of the following in a guy’s hookup profile?- No fats or fems allowed
- No Asians
- No blacks
- Masculine “straight” acting only
6. Ageism is everywhere
Hey, I’m not stupid. I recognize that young, beautiful and built have long been the gold standard in gay culture. But when you throw the hookup apps into the mix, ageism against fellow gays has skyrocketed.How many times have I said “Hi” to a guy on Grindr, only to get a reply that reads something like: Sorry, not a match – you are out of my age range. It’s certainly happened to me! And what’s effed up is the assumption is that I must be looking to “get some”. That’s not always the case. But because I’m 40, I apparently won’t be making a lot of people’s final cut. People can be such jerks!
7. Drunk sex
This final one doesn’t apply to everyone but I’ve seen it enough that I am listing. There’s just been too many instances where I’ve agreed to a hookup with a dude, only to arrive at his place and find him completely drunk. Have you had that happen?For me, there’s nothing worse than some sloppy guy who can’t get it up because he’s totally bombed. And the worst part is he’s not even able to bottom because he was too sloshed to remember to clean himself out.
OK, I’m done with my rant. But now you know why I’m sick of the gay hookup culture. It’s totally made a mess of things and I don’t see it getting better. At least some gay dudes have caught on and started to get rid of their apps.
www.gaypopbuzz.com/7-reasons-gay-hookup-culture-sucks/
