Consider the following list of dos and don’ts when it comes to anal play:
Know your prostate. If you aren’t sure where the prostate is, lie on your back and pull your knees to your chest. Using lubricant, insert your fingers into your anus and feel for a small, walnut-sized bump a couple of inches in. Make a “come hither” motion with your index finger in order to make it easier to find, or you might just use a prostate vibrator or stimulator to discover an anal orgasm as well.
Lubrication is a must! Lubrication helps to prevent tearing in the anus, and it will make sex more comfortable and enjoyable for both of you. If you aren’t sure which lubrication to choose, simply make sure to choose one that is compatible with the condoms you are using (which means no oil-based lubricants). There are silicone-based and water-based lubricants: Silicone-based lubricants are thinner than water-based lubricants, but they are also longer-lasting, so if you want a thick, long-lasting lubricant, try mixing a little bit of a water-based lube with a silicone lube. Never rely on household items like lotion or Vaseline, as these can irritate the genitals and also negatively interfere with condom efficacy. Not to mention, they simply aren’t going to feel as good and work as well as lubricants that are made for the purpose of anal sex.
Relax. This is the most important part of anal sex. If you aren’t relaxed, then you aren’t going to be able to enjoy anal sex and your partner might not even be able to penetrate you. Anal sex requires trust, as you must trust that your partner will be careful and listen to your cues about depth and intensity of penetration. It will help if you are very near orgasm and highly aroused before you even endeavor to begin anal sex. If you aren’t ready to jump right into anal sex, build your way up to anal pleasure by simply enjoying anal play. Have your partner manually penetrate your anus with a finger or two as he gives you oral pleasure. Build your way to more and more fingers, and maybe even use a small dildo or sex toy. Once you are ready to try the real thing, start slow and let your partner know if you feel you don’t want to continue.
Practice safer sex. The enjoyment of anal sex is increasing, but sadly, so are anal cancers. This is why it is crucial that you practice safer sex when having anal sex. In the past 30 years, anal cancer has increased 160 percent in men and 78 percent in women. This does not mean that anal sex can’t be a safe and healthy way to explore your sexuality, but it does serve as a cautionary tale to always use protection.
Getting to know your own body and pleasure spots, and being responsible for the safest sex possible, will help you enjoy a great sex life!
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