Concerns
Doing Something WrongThe thing most people are worried about is doing something wrong. If this worries you then don’t. If you haven’t given a blowjob before then you aren’t supposed to know exactly what to do. And men aren’t all the same. Some like it one way, others like it another way. And the fun is in learning what works for each other.
What we learn in sexual relationships is that with better communication comes a better sexual experience. If you want to give your boyfriend a blowjob for the first time, talking about it way beforehand may be a good way to practice that communication. Once you are comfortable talking about it, when it comes time you won’t feel self conscious talking about the blowjob while you are doing it.
Making a Mistake
If something strange happens that could be embarrassing, the best response is just to laugh it off or comment on it. Though it isn’t really a mistake, going too far and gagging can happen easily when the penis is inside your mouth. Don’t worry, just laugh or make a comment like “Whoops, too much.”
How to Make it Feel Good for Him
The best way to find out what feels good for him is ask him and try to pick up on his reactions during the blowjob. This is where practicing talking about it pays off (because saying this stuff out loud can be hard!). If he is inexperienced too, then he may not be able to tell you what he likes from experience, but once you start he will find it pretty easy to tell you what feels good - if you ask him!
Being Prepared
Condoms! Using condoms is always the best policy. Be sure you both understand and respect that you want to use a condom.
A quick safe sex tip for beginners: putting on a condom can be difficult, but without one sex shouldn’t be an option. If you are thinking of giving a blowjob for the first time, try flavoured condoms. Once you have decided you want to give a blowjob for the first time, try practicing putting a condom on him (or him putting in on himself) on a separate day prior to any other sexual activity. Once you get this down, it’s one less thing to worry about!
But just having a box of condoms doesn’t mean you are prepared. Deciding if you are personally prepared is something only you can do. Though friends do have a strong influence on our behaviour, try not to feel pressured by what others are doing or what others expect of you.
How do you give a blowjob (for beginners)
If you have decided you are ready to give a blowjob, but want to know exactly what to do, then here is a quick rundown. Remember that you don’t have to know everything right off the bat, and there is a lot of fun in learning these things together with a partner you trust.The Dirty Basics of a Blowjob
You have to get his cock out of his pants. Then you have put it in your mouth. (If you have talked out it beforehand with him, then he will be freshly showered and his cock will be nice and clean, even under the foreskin.)
You don’t have to jam his cock in your mouth straight away. You can take some time to get to know the little guy first. See how it feels in your hand. Ask your partner if you can have a look. Every cock is different, so it’s fun to see what his looks like.
When you are ready, lick and kiss him first. Go slow so you can both focus on how everything feels. Then take him in your mouth.
When his cock is in your mouth, it will be resting on your tongue and your lips should be relaxed but making a seal around his cock.
Take your time to explore how his cock feels inside your mouth. Move your tongue around it and suck it gently while moving up and down. Be careful not to scrape his cock with your teeth. The head (with the foreskin pulled back on uncircumcised men) is extremely sensitive, and teeth can really hurt.
The important features of a blowjob are warmth; wetness; and friction. Inside your mouth is warm, when you move there is friction and your saliva is the wetness. Don’t worry if a little saliva dribbles out as wetter is generally better. Just smooth it around with your hand.
That’s enough to start off with. Find out for yourself all the little things that work for your partner, as it can be a lot of fun. And if you aren’t having fun, then why are you doing it?
The Result of a Blowjob
When a man is stimulated enough, he will come (ok, you already knew that!). So what should you do with that come?
That is completely up to you. If he is wearing a condom you can just continue with what you are doing until he tells you to stop. You will get to feel how his penis changes through his orgasm, and you will be safe from possible diseases.
If you aren’t using a condom then you can let him come in your mouth, let him come somewhere else such as in a bunch of tissues or in your hand. If he comes in your mouth then again, you can spit it out into a bunch of tissues, etc, or you can swallow it. This is something you might think about beforehand or not, but don’t worry if you change your mind at the last minute. Using a condom, deciding where his come goes is completely up to you and you shouldn’t let the actions or words of others coerce you into doing something you aren’t comfortable with.
He Came Too Quickly / He didn’t Come
If he came very quickly from your blowjob then you have nothing to worry about. If you enjoyed it then you should have the chance to try again.
If he didn’t come from your blowjob then again, you have nothing to worry about. There is nothing wrong with a blowjob that doesn’t end with an orgasm. If your guy is a frequent masturbator (and most young guys are these day, thanks to the porn providing net) then it will be harder to make him come because his penis will be more used to stimulation.
Don’t expect that you will be able to make him come the first time. It usually takes practice. The biggest problem is your jaw will get tired way before he will ask you to stop.
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