If you don’t know what I mean, take a moment…close your eyes…
Imagine, if you will…
…being bent over someone’s knee or a kneeling bent over a chair. Imagine your pants are taken down, your skirt lifted up, or your underwear pulled aside (wedgies go well with spanking). You’re waiting, because you know it’s coming, but you don’t know when. You feel vulnerable, exposed, anticipating and dreading all the same time. Your spanker is talking to you, perhaps telling you why you’re being spanked, perhaps telling you why it doesn’t matter why, that they’re doing it for the best reason ever- because they can. Perhaps certain body parts are beginning to drool a little. Sexually excited or a little scared? If you’re not sure, you’re certainly not alone.
Of course, you may be the spanker or spankee in this scenario and it doesn’t automatically follow that the dominant is giving the spanking and the submissive is receiving.
Though if someone in the scenario is saying, “because I can”, then it’s a good bet that that’s the dominant. The foregoing is a good example of the differences between topping and dominating.
But it’s Just Spanking! Why Do I Need Pointers?
One of the great things about spanking is that it’s a wonderful activity for those times when you have nothing else….(wait for it)…to hand. You don’t need any special tools, just your hands and a bottom to put them on, along with some basic safety tips. Spanking might be considered basic, but still, if you spank someone hard enough in the right spot, or more accurately the wrong spot, you can hurt them in the not-good way.And that’s not-good. There’s ouchy-hurty and then there’s injury-hurty. Typically (but definitely not always) we want the ouchy-hurty.
Some Basic Techniques
You do not have to have someone over your lap while you sit in a chair. This might be one of the most common positions we think of, but it’s not the most comfortable. It’s great for short term, but if you want a long leisurely spankathon, this position will get uncomfortable quick. Something to keep in mind. Some other positions I’ve used are:- Submissive standing up, bent over with hands on the back of a chair, bed, tail gate, kitchen sink or anything the right height, while I’m standing next to or behind them. This is a fun position for walking around to their face and seeing how they’re doing/giving them the evil eye, as the urge strikes.
- Submissive kneeling on the floor, bent over a chair seat or anything else low enough, me sitting on a chair or kneeling near them. Having some kind of cushion for knees may be crucial.
- Sitting on a bed or floor with my submissive stretched out across my lap. This position is likely to be the most comfortable and so will work well when you want an extended session. You’ll be pinned though, so try to have things nearby that you might need. Or have your submissive fetch for you.
Can you think of others?
There’s nothing wrong with having someone in an uncomfortable position, as long as they don’t have a bad back, knee injury, or something like that. As a rule of thumb remember that the more “discomfort factors” they have to deal with at once, the quicker they’ll max out. That’s fine if that’s what you want. But if you want a long, savory spanking scene, a more comfortable position for both of you will make that more likely.The General Impact Play Safe Zones Apply
Specifically, these areas are off limits: the lower back and kidney area, knees and elbows, particularly the soft underside, wrists, neck and head, the stomach. Face is okay with much caution, but I recommend studying up on slapping before attempting face strikes. There are special considerations you should know about. CBT (cock and ball “torture”) is another topic and has it’s own risks. When spanking, it’s best to avoid the testicles in general. The rule of thumb is, nowhere right over bone and not where nerves and/or veins are near the surface of the skin.Actually, all the previously mentioned “off limit” areas can have things done to them, but only for advanced players who understand the increased risk and can proceed accordingly. In general, steer clear of them because striking there, even spanking, can cause serious injury. As with anything that you’re trying for the first time or with someone new to you, start slower/less intense until you feel more confident about your aim, strength of swat, etc. Also, check in with your bottom a bit until you feel like you have a good sense of how intense it feels for them. This will enable you to have more control over how things go in the scene and that’s always a good thing.
Let’s Get Spanking!!!
So where can you spank?The butt. We’re done here, right?
Well maybe you’ve noticed that there’s a lot to a butt. Yes, the fleshy pad over the glutes themselves, but also what’s known as the “sweet spot”, which is that area right where the butt cheek meets the upper thigh; the inner thighs (so fun!) and the sides of the hips where it’s fleshy. We’re mostly talking about butt spanking here, but you can definitely spank breasts, labia and penis shaft (you probably want to have the penis-sporting-person facing you for that one if there are testicles and you want to avoid them, which you should unless you’ve studied up on that and gotten consent).
As with any S/m, warming up the skin and ramping up gradually are good if you don’t want your bottom to tap out in a short amount of time. Changing it up, taking little breaks, massaging the skin or lightly brushing it with your fingertips in between rougher swats is all good stuff. It will give you a chance to make intimate contact, give your bottom a break and let you keep playing longer. I sometimes like to keep a little ice handy. Once the skin is reddening and sensitive, little things can elicit wonderful reactions. Running fingernails, metal claws, a fork, something soft and furry- things like that can be fun. Try some different things and see how it goes.
Hey, Wait a Minute… That Hurts!
If you’re like me, it could be that spanking hurts your hands after awhile. I have two techniques for working around this: 1) wear thin gloves that feel natural (so as to keep as much of the feel of skin-on-skin as possible, for both me and my bottom and 2) have a paddle, hair brush, wooden spoon or other close range impact implement handy so I can give my hands a break when I need to and still be able to keep striking if I want to. This has the added advantage of changing up the sensation for the bottom, which is sometimes a great thing. The bottom line is, if I want to last longer as the spanking top, then I need some ways to lessen the intensity for my own hands. If I don’t I’ll just have to quit sooner.The other way to avoid hurting your hands is to refrain from spanking someone. It’s not something I do super often, but I do like to have it in my repertoire once in awhile, sometimes as a reward, particularly if it really ramps up the D/s dynamic for me and my submissive psychologically.
Yes, It’s Only Spanking, But Still…
Remember, for the same reason spanking can have such an elemental psychological charge, it can also be a hard limit for some people. It may be just too reminiscent of a parent child relationship, it could be that someone has traumatic memories associated with spanking, etc. It doesn’t really matter why; if it’s a hard limit, it’s a hard limit. Don’t ever try to talk someone out of a hard limit. Spanking might seem trivial to you and/or be your very favorite thing, but what constitutes trivial and too intense is different for everyone. And a hard limit is a hard limit.Marking is also a hard limit for some folks. Even if you don’t hit hard, some people bruise very easily. It can’t always be avoided, but it’s a good thing to cover in your negotiations- how do they feel about marks and if they’re okay with them, where on there body?
You can add some role play in conjunction with your spanking or not. You can try some on-the-spot spankings in some semi-public areas. Even pulling over for a few at the side or the road and having your bottom present tail can be fun. Bare skin, through clothes, it’s really up to you. That should be enough to get you started with some more in depth spanking or take it to the next level.
dominantguide.com/3844/giving-spanks-the-basics-of-spanking/
