I want to bottom but it just hurts too much. Is there any way I can make it happen?

Q: I’m pretty new to getting fucked. I was only fucked once successfully by a guy I was blowing for like a half an hour, slowly edging him. I was really drunk, so I was relaxed I guess. He was like 7 inches and pretty thin cock. When he went behind me i didn’t even really think he was gonna fuck me and it didn’t hurt bad going in. I did feel it when he was pounding me though. He used lube.

Since then I’ve had three guys try it: Two with no lube and today, a guy had lube (but I’m not sure he used enough). They were all smaller than the first guy. All of them it hurt so bad when they were putting it in, I just ended up blowing them.
So yes… I’m a bad bottom right now, but I don’t want to be. I loved the feeling of the one man dominating my asshole and kind of feeling like he was up there for a few days after.

I identify as a bottom, because I am a submissive and want to please the man with the cock.
Is there anything i can do to kind of soften the blow of the first thrust in? It seems to be I hear that after I do it a few times that it will be easier. I really don’t want to do poppers or anything. I was thinking maybe if I got a dildo it would stretch out some.
I see a lot of people saying go slow at first, which makes sense. But it seems to me maybe I should have them do the first push in — like a few inches — to get past my sphincters. Then hold it there until I adjusted so it would just be one moment of intense pain. Then i could deal with the fucking pain, which seemed okay.

I know it’s my fault for either being too nervous and not accepting it or not being prepared.
Also, I’m not really sure what a portable douche is. I want to be as clean as possible. Is there some kind of thing you just fill up with water and squirt it up your butt? And how long before you fuck do you do it?

I hope your answer isn’t suck it up and just take it, but that might be the only one. It just really really hurts.
I want to be a good bottom and to please my guys when they want me to turn around.
I figured you had experience with this so i would ask you. I know it’s a lot of questions. Thank you for your time.
A: Suck it up.

That is the easy answer, but it’s not the right answer for you — obviously. I don’t like seeing bottoms going unbred, especially when they’re begging for it. Let’s step through a few options. I’m not sure why you’re refusing the assistance of poppers . I hear this sometimes with people and it baffles me.

Poppers can be legally obtained pretty much everywhere and their effects are rather temporary. You will find that the most intense sensations occur within 30 seconds of snorting them and by five minutes later, no residual effects will remain. Perhaps you are one of the small percentage of people with low blood pressure, which makes using poppers dangerous because you might pass out.  Prior to having sex (by at least 30 minutes), please take pain medication. If it’s ibuprofen or acetaminophen (I believe four of each, which is double the recommended amount, makes for “prescription strength) is a good option. If you happen to have prescription pain medication or muscle relaxers, consider those as well.  You should consider this also if poppers cause you headaches instead of avoiding poppers all together (and better quality poppers won’t cause headaches usually).

Buy a dildo or vibrator of normal size and work your ass every night. I don’t mean every other night or when you’re horny. I mean every, single night. With this exercise, I recommend you do some deep breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth) and relaxation techniques (just search YouTube for “5-minute relaxation” if you need help). When the speaker talks about relaxing the body, you focus on your asshole and relax it. Accept the dildo. Use the poppers a couple of times. Just close your eyes and make it happen. It won’t be easy at first, but eventually — probably by the third week — you will be able to take the dildo in your ass during the five minute exercise.

Once you can take the dildo in five minutes (all the way in), begin fucking yourself with it. Explore your insides. Find the spots that feel good and the ones that don’t. Yes, at first, you feel like you need to shit. That’s normal. But you will get past that. For the next month, you just need to explore. Now these two months could be a little messy unless you douche (we’ll talk portable douche in a moment). I recommend the anal bulb douche as your first option (you can see it to the right). The most prevalent thing to notice about this is its very thin spout. You want one like this to clean your ass. In the shower and prior to play, do a few squirts into your ass, hold and then release. If you can get two or three bulbs full into your ass before release, even better. This is also teaching your ass muscle control. By the way, use a sensitive, hypoallergenic liquid soap as lubricant and make sure the water isn’t too hot that you squirt inside.

Throughout this process, you should be paying attention to your body and noticing your body’s schedule. When do you normally take a shit? You need to notice when you eat and how long it takes to process that meal. A good bottom knows his body and its normal rhythms. I know bottoms who will stick to protein shakes or juice a couple of days prior to big gang bangs to avoid passing solids. Learning how your body processes and passes wastes is important to being clean and providing a top the optimum experience.


For me, if I get shitdick , the bottom is licking it clean. When you are with a top, begin with one who will let you sit on his cock first. I personally love this position to begin with anyway. It warms me up after good sucking. Using lube is important but not vital. It’s more about the bottom relaxing and opening up. Sounds like to me you’ve got a case of stage-fright. If you’re in control — which is the top position, where you sit on the cock — you control the pace. And here’s where you have some fun. If it hurts, ease off it. Tell the top he’s got a nice big cock. Let your ass relax a bit. Then ease back onto it. The second time in won’t be as bad. And you might even need to come off again before burying the bone.

Once you adjust to the sensation, switch to a position where the top has more control. If it gets to hurting, start begging the top to cum. Hurting too much, switch off and suck a little. Change position. Don’t say it’s hurting too much. And never let it end in a blowjob. Just give your ass a rest but remember your relaxation techniques to allow you to take his cock. Eventually, you’re going to want to get a permanent shower shot douche for your home. This is an attachment for your shower. Every good bottom has one and swears by it. Knowing your body’s rhythm and cleaning out daily is not unusual for every bottom. I know bottoms who can be ready is less than five minutes, no matter where they happen to be located. As for a portable douche, nothing really handy exists, but my favorite improvised device is one I saw a bottom carry with him. Technically, you can find it in the cake decorating section of your grocery store (or you might need to go to a more crafty kind of place).

The squeeze bottle accordion can be compressed into a smaller format for carrying so it’s about an inch tall. At your destination, you can use water from the sink to squirt into your ass. As a suggestion, leave the water running when expelling from your ass so your top doesn’t hear that. He doesn’t want to think you were just dirty. Might I also suggest carrying one of these is good for any bottom who wishes to get the cum out of his ass as soon as possible. Look, I prefer a bottom keep my DNA inside him.

But bottoms like to lie. I know that. Using this, one can rinse out an ass if there’s some level of fear of a possible disease transmission. Leaving the cum and other juices inside just causes it to fester. There’s debate whether a spermicide will kill HIV or cause it to thrive. I’d err on the side of killing it since you’re rinsing it out. Again, leave the water running or, better yet, take a shower after the fun.

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