HISTORY
One of the first things to realize about adding or incorporating role-play into your bedroom is that we, as lovers and/or play partners, already play a role (Askmen.com). The concept of playing a role that is other than the one you prescribe to in your daily life is a difficult one to trace. One could argue that the concept of playing another role or acting can be traced back to the Ancient Greek plays by Sophocles and other great minds around 400 BC (Acting-classes-online-tips.com). Given the personal nature of adding role-play to the bedroom or a play scene it is difficult to determine when it entered the bedroom arena.
To clarify for this article I am referring to the act of playing a specific role for the purpose of sexual excitement and/or fetish or kink activities. I am not referring to playing such games as Dungeons and Dragons or Live Action Role Playing games. Though, as a role-player of those games I will be discussing how those can very easily fit into your play scenes later.
For the purpose of this article we are going to define “role-play” as two or more people choosing to take on a different role or identity to act out a sexual or fetish fantasy or engage in a sexualized activity.
SAFETY
This, along with any other fetish activity requires a quick debriefing regarding safety. If the particular fantasy you are acting out requires tools, toys or physically intensive acts remember to employ any of the safety tips we’ve suggested. If you’re going to be flogging someone know where to flog them, how hard and what are they warning signs of flogging incorrectly.Another key thing to incorporate into your role-playing is a safe word. If you and your partner are choosing to act out a kidnap or rape fantasy it is very important to have a safe word that either of you can use at any time to break the scene. In these particular instances begging for your partner to stop may be a part of the scene so it is very important for it to be something neither of you would say.
ABOUT ROLEPLAY
Types of Role-play
Here I will be describing some of the various types of fantasies or role-plays you can make with your partner. This is not meant in any way shape or form to be an exhaustive list but it is meant to get your creative juices flowing and a way of reassuring you that you are not alone in some of your kinkier thoughts.Mistress Claudia, author of “The Art of Sensual Female Dominance” provides a good break down for beginners. She breaks down role-play into the “Action” Sessions, Psychological Session, Character Sessions, Bitch Sessions, Age-Play Scenarios and Doggie Obedience School (Varrin, 1998). Again, this is not an exhaustive list but it certainly helps organize things.
Action Sessions are role-play sessions centred on action, so training, floggings or just physical activities. They can have elements of a character session but the main purpose is fulfilling an entire fantasy from beginning to end.
Psychological sessions are based on fulfilling a psychological fantasy through portraying a role or a character. A perfect example would be one that Mistress Claudia describes. She discusses how a client of her asked her to portray a psychiatrist where he goes in to discuss a “traumatic” experience of a gang rape while in prison (Varrin, 1998). This sated their desire to experience their rape fantasy without having to actually give up the control of having it happen. Mistress Claudia had to do very little but ask the appropriate leading questions.
Character sessions are exactly how they sound, a role-play session based on different types of characters. For example, patient/naughty nurse, head master or mistress/naughty school child, police officer/perpetrator. The list is endless. And exciting. Bitch sessions are sessions centred on one of the partners, well, being a right bitch to the other. Whether it be a bitchy boss that get’s their come-uppins or a foot fetishist “forcing” their partner to help them try on dozens and dozens of shoes as the bitchy clientele.
Age-play scenarios are similar to character sessions, where one partner plays a certain age.
Doggie Obedience sessions are a role-play where one partner is choosing to act like a canine. One can embark on training your doggie to sit, roll over, play dead and how to eat out of their doggie bowl correctly. This sort of role-play allows one partner to leave their mortal coil and more importantly their mortal issues (stressing about work, money, kids, etc etc etc…) and either train their new pet or be trained by their new owner (Varrin, 1998).
Tips
The most important thing to remember when embarking on this is trust. Make sure you trust whomever you’re doing this with. Talk about boundaries, safe words and hard and fast no’s.Once you’ve had a good heartfelt conversation start slow. Don’t jump right into the deep end on your first or second go. You might scare yourself of your partner off. And remember be sensitive and encourage your partner, especially if this is going outside of their comfort zone (Abs-cbnnews.com).
If you’re both very excited about giving this a try but on the eve of your big exciting session your imagination is stunted try some visual aids. An erotic book that plays into your fantasy or a erotic movie. Try reading passages of the book aloud to get you both going (Abs-cbnnews.com). Don’t worry, you will feel less embarrassed and more relaxed once you get going.
AFTERCARE
It’s very important to touch base with your partner after a role-play scene. It’s good to know what really got them going, what was pushing their boundaries, what they liked and did not enjoy but put up with.By doing this and keeping track the two (or three or four) of you can explore and expand your boundaries safely.
CONCLUSION
Role-playing is a great way to spice up your love life and a great way of incorporating multiple partners into your play. This key, as always, is safety. Safety can be achieved through trust and open communication.As always, remember that this fetish or kink can come in many forms so explore and have as much fun as possible!
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