Not too long ago, I hooked up with a guy from one of the apps for some nighttime fun. His name was Hector. Prior to getting together, we talked in the usual way gay men do about likes and dislikes.
You know how this goes right?
What are you into? and What turns you on? are just a few examples of the screening phase; that magical moment in time where both parties size each other up for compatibility.
In my case, I told him what I tell everyone: I’m a submissive bottom that likes dominant men. In fact, I’m even down with a little kink if it comes to that.
For his part, Hector shared that he is on the dominant side of things. He likes it when guys worship his body and take verbal orders as part of play.
As we continued screening, he asked me if I liked doing it bareback. His question wasn’t a surprise it seems par for the course now-a-days in this age of PREP.
I responded, yes but also shared that when it comes time for release, I prefer his milkshake on my face.
I can do that man no problem. What’s your address? he said.
About an hour later, after I spent a considerable amount of time cleaning myself out, Hector arrived on my doorstep. He looked just like his pics: tall, brown eyes and muscled up.
The foreplay part of our fun was amazing. The truth is, I can spend hours licking a guy’s biceps and kissing his abs. Being called names (in a non-humiliating way) also is hot.
I even edged him for a while through oral, making sure each time he was brought right near release without erupting.
All of this sounds great, right? Well, not so fast.
You see, once we got to the topping part, things went downhill kind of fast. That’s because Hector decided come hook or crook, he was going to unload inside me.
How do I know this? Because even though we had pre-negotiated how this part of our fun would go down, he verbalized his intent clearly.
I know you want a facial but that’s not happening. Just shut your mouth and enjoy it! is exactly what he told me as he continued his assault on my hole from behind.
Part of me thought he was playing. If you’ve ever been part of dom-sub play, you know there can be times when things get blurry and it can be hard to discern fantasy from reality.
I remember turning around at one point and telling him directly, We have a deal. OK?
He nodded his head and I thought that was the end of it. Except it wasn’t. A few moments later, I heard him say: I’m about to nut bud ust stay still.
That’s when I immediately crawled forward, leaving him holding his goods with his right hand. Oh, come on man. You are kidding, right? What kind of a bottom are you? He asked.
About five seconds later, he released by masturbating. His aftermath covered my pillowcase with none of it squirted onto me.
Not even a drop.
The truth is, I was so pissed I didn’t want any of it!
After he cleaned up in bathroom, Hector got dressed and made his way to the door. Just before leaving he said, Sorry. I thought that’s what you really wanted.
Hector is just one example of many I’ve run across who hold the belief that all submissive bottoms want their loads. Look, I’m not stupid. I know some men absolutely love that kind of thing. I’m not judging here.
That said, I’m not one of them.
It’s not that I don’t like the thought of being seeded because I do. It’s just that if it’s going to happen, I prefer it be with a boyfriend.
For some strange reason, there’s a false belief in the gay-o-sphere that bottoms are DTF according to the terms laid out by the top. How it started or why is beyond me.
All I know is that most of the tops I run into think breeding is part of deal.
What I’ve learned is that it’s important to make it SUPER clear at the beginning the ground rules. This means saying in a straight forward way:
My only rule is you don’t c** up my *ss.
To anyone wondering if I am on PREP, the answer is yes. But that doesn’t mean I want to be seeded! I could lie to you and say I’m worried about STI’s. But that wouldn’t be the truth.
The fact of the matter is, I only want to be loaded up by a man that I love. Call me old school or whatever you want but that’s just me. And I have a feeling I’m not alone.
So to all of the dominant BB tops out there who think it’s their job to impregnate bottoms like us with your babies it’s not. If we want your milk inside us, we’ll let you know.
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