My favorite is simple.
Exactly 4 cups of hot water, exactly ¼ cup of j-lube powder.
Once the blender is up to full speed, dump in the powder and keep it going till the blender is struggling and the mixture is jumping around like one big lump. Let it sit at least a few hours, but best would be 24…give it a stir with a spoon, and then pour it into smaller squeeze bottles.
A buddy of mine likes to experiment, adding a teaspoon of raspberry liquor to the water… and says, “It’s like summer in a bottle!”
The modifications are (a) I put in more J-lube and (b) I use a less potent sterilizer.
Ingredients:
- 8 oz distilled water
- 1 tbsp (15 ml) of J-lube powder
- 1 oz water-based jelly lube
- (I use “General Lube” from Nasco, following the original recipe, but I imagine K-Y or Trojan Lube or anything like that would also do the job.)
Equipment:
- glass container for mixing (Pyrex 32-oz pitcher)
- glass stirring rod
- plastic wrap
- 2-oz squeeze bottles and caps (four of these)
(I have successfully made 24 oz of J-lube, a triple recipe, in a 32-oz pitcher.)
(Best to always use new bottles and just throw the old ones away after use.)
Directions:
1. Clean everything thoroughly and rinse very well with water, then sterilize. The original recipe recommends the use of 35% hydrogen peroxide for sterilization. This is not only very difficult to acquire, being a laboratory reagent, but is also a dangerously powerful oxidizer. I use dilute chlorine bleach, rinse well with water, rinse again with ordinary drugstore 3% hydrogen peroxide, followed by a final rinse with distilled water. If the squeeze bottles are new food-grade ones, all they need is the peroxide/distilled-water final rinse and they may not even need that.
2. Put the distilled water in the pitcher. *Lightly* dust the surface with about 1/3 or ¼ of the J-lube powder. Avoid creating piles or lumps of J-lube powder on the surface of the water. Cover with plastic wrap and let sit for, say, five minutes, until the powder has all taken up some water. Let sit a while longer, say ten or twenty minutes. Then stir very well.
3. Repeat step 2 two or three times until all the J-lube powder has been added to the water. At this point the mixture will still be quite lumpy and uneven. Cover the pitcher with plastic film.
4. Let the covered pitcher sit for as long as you can manage. I try to give it a couple of hours. Stir occasionally. This helps make sure that the J-lube is all completely hydrated.
5. Nuke the pitcher (still covered with plastic film) in the microwave until it boils. After every three minutes, take it out and stir it. Continue until the mixture is boiling, then boil for a few minutes. Be ***very*** careful when stirring hot J-lube solution. It can “bump” and foam up, and I suspect it will give a very really nasty burn if it gets on you.
6. Remove pitcher from microwave, allow to cool down a little, then add the jelly lubricant. Stir well to mix, then pour into prepared squeeze bottles. Leave a little airspace at the top of each bottle.
7. Allow bottles containing J-lube to cool. Label with date and store in freezer.
It’s good stuff. The trick of boiling the mixture in the microwave seems to be very effective at giving you a very smooth end product, and has the further advantage of killing off most bugs that might get
into the mixture.
Before play, take out two or three of the little 2-oz bottles of J-lube and defrost them in a sink full of hot water. Having the lube slightly warm is rather pleasant…
Unused bottles go back into the freezer, but partially used and empty ones are candidates for going into the trash. The unused ones get an alcohol wipe before refreezing just in case they were accidentally touched by a contaminated hand during play.
The key things to this recipe are patient waiting for the J-lube to hydrate, the boiling, and the addition of a jelly-style lubricant. I haven’t tried J-lube without adding a jelly-style one, so maybe I’m full of shit. Nothing new there. Color me hopelessly unimaginative.
Into a blender put:
- ¼ cup Wesson Oil (or similar veggie oil)
- ¾ cup water
- Turn blender on high and add:
- 2 tablespoons of J-Lube powder
As it turns into a thick white ball of “goo”, add a couple of table spoons of water until it’s like white creamy lotion
Let air bubbles from blending die down
Pour into plastic squeeze bottle with snap style lid. Snapping lid shut after dispensing cuts the strings.
Ingredients:
- 8 oz distilled water
- 1 tbsp (15 ml) of J-lube powder
- 1 oz water-based jelly lube
(I use “General Lube” from Nasco, following the original recipe, but I imagine K-Y or Trojan Lube or anything like that would also do the job.)
Equipment:
glass container for mixing (Pyrex 32-oz pitcher)
glass stirring rod
plastic wrap
2-oz squeeze bottles and caps (four of these)
(I have successfully made 24 oz of J-lube, a triple recipe, in a 32-oz pitcher.)
(Best to always use new bottles and just throw the old ones away after use.)
Method:
- Clean everything thoroughly and rinse very well with water, then sterilize. The original recipe recommends the use of 35% hydrogen peroxide for sterilization. This is not only very difficult to acquire, being a laboratory reagent, but is also a dangerously powerful oxidizer. I use dilute chlorine bleach, rinse well with water, rinse again with ordinary drugstore 3% hydrogen peroxide, followed by a final rinse with distilled water. If the squeeze bottles are new food-grade ones, all they need is the peroxide/distilled-water final rinse and they may not even need that.
- Put the distilled water in the pitcher. *Lightly* dust the surface with about 1/3 or ¼ of the J-lube powder. Avoid creating piles or lumps of J-lube powder on the surface of the water. Cover with plastic wrap and let sit for, say, five minutes, until the powder has all taken up some water. Let sit a while longer, say ten or twenty minutes. Then stir very well.
- Repeat step 2 two or three times until all the J-lube powder has been added to the water. At this point the mixture will still be quite lumpy and uneven. Cover the pitcher with plastic film.
- Let the covered pitcher sit for as long as you can manage. I try to give it a couple of hours. Stir occasionally. This helps make sure that the J-lube is all completely hydrated.
- Nuke the pitcher (still covered with plastic film) in the microwave until it boils. After every three minutes, take it out and stir it. Continue until the mixture is boiling, then boil for a few minutes. Be ***very*** careful when stirring hot J-lube solution. It can “bump” and foam up, and I suspect it will give a very really nasty burn if it gets on you.
- Remove pitcher from microwave, allow to cool down a little, then add the jelly lubricant. Stir well to mix, then pour into prepared squeeze bottles. Leave a little airspace at the top of each bottle.
- Allow bottles containing J-lube to cool. Label with date and store in freezer.
- It’s good stuff. The trick of boiling the mixture in the microwave seems to be very effective at giving you a very smooth end product, and has the further advantage of killing off most bugs that might get into the mixture.
- Before play, take out two or three of the little 2-oz bottles of J-lube and defrost them in a sink full of hot water. Having the lube slightly warm is rather pleasant…
Unused bottles go back into the freezer, but partially used and empty ones are candidates for going into the trash. The unused ones get an alcohol wipe before refreezing just in case they were accidentally touched by a contaminated hand during play.
The key things to this recipe are patient waiting for the J-lube to hydrate, the boiling, and the addition of a jelly-style lubricant. I haven’t tried J-lube without adding a jelly-style one, so maybe I’m full of shit. Nothing new there. Color me hopelessly unimaginative
Basic Recipe (J-Lube)
Ingredients:
2 Cups Warm Water
4 dessert spoons of J- Lube
Method:
J – Lube is best prepared 2 hours before use and stored in refrigirator, giving the polymer bonds enough time to completely dissolve, resulting in a smooth slick product.
- Measure 2 cups heaped war water
- Pour into Blender
- Add 4 dessert spoons of J-Lube powder
- Blend on high
- Pour into bottles and store in refrigirator for 30 min.
- Or Freese in Ice in Cube trays
Second recipe (J-Lube)
Ingredients:
2 Cups Water
1/8 Cup J-Lube
4 Cups Wesson All Vegetable Shortening
Method:
Bring 2 Cups water to boil (I use filtered water from the door of the
refrigerator). In a metal bowl or pot, place 1/8 cup of J-Lube. Pour water
over J-Lube and begin whipping with an electric mixer, gradually increasing speed, for about 3-5 minutes. When thick and frothy, add 4 Cups of Wesson (You can use Crisco if you prefer….I don’t care for the smell though).
Start the mixing again, beating and beating until a really smooth consistency has been attained (no lumps). This final beating should take about five to seven minutes. (At this point it will be very thick, but pourable, it will thicken as it cools, to a lovely, sticky, stringy consistency) It can then be transferred to an empty Wesson (Crisco) container and placed in the refrigerator (to help prevent spoilage) When you need some, scoop out into the desired amount, warm slightly in the microwave, and refrigerate the rest. This can also be made on the stove, over VERY low heat. Start with warm tap water, and mix your J-Lube. (Often there are lumps, but don’t worry about this). After beating, add your Wesson, and begin beating on the stove over low heat, until the Wesson starts to incorporate with the J-Lube. Remember, oil and water don’t mix, but when you add a little heat, magic happens.
You can also add things like Ben Gay, Tiger Balm, Lanacaine, while it’s warm, for added zest, depending on what you have planned.
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