I believe that the reason is this. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the unknown is a universal experience among humankind. It you think about it, I’m certain you can recall many times in your own past when you experienced it. The idea of submissive training makes us feel uneasy and insecure because we have so little knowledge about it.
Why the Mystery
When I faced submissive training for the first time, I immediately turned to books and the web to discover what I would be facing and what I’d be expected to do. Instead what I found was disappointment. I learned that there was a surprising lack of specific information about it anywhere. The vacuum of specific information only added to my feelings of insecurity. The absence of hard facts made the whole situation all the more intimidating. Perhaps reading about my experiences with training may help to clear away some of that type of mystery that shrouds the subject and will help new subs find a measure of peace and self-confidenceBeginning With the Macro View
Tackling the topic of submissive training by necessity requires that I start with the same generalized information I mentioned previously that is typically all that can be found. But don’t despair. While I must begin by painting with a few rather broad strokes to provide the macro view, the big picture, trust that we will be moving from the macro to the micro, from the general to the specific.
Due to the volume of information to cover, even in the kind of overview I have in mind, sharing anything of much substance in a single post would be impossible. Therefore my next several posts will be taken up with the matter of submissive training.
This seems a good place to insert a small disclaimer. Just as every submissive is an individual, the same of course in true of dominants. Every dominant has different objectives, goals, methods and philosophies with regard to training. It must always be kept in mind that what I share is anecdotal in that it comes from my own personal experiences and is colored by my own perceptions. This overview I think can have value and can at least in a general way, shed some light on what you can expect from being trained. But please do remember, your mileage may vary.
Some Simple Truths About Training
It is easy to assume, given the dynamics of a power exchange relationship, that training is a proverbial one-way street. In other words, in the training process, all the instruction flows downhill from the Master to his slave and all learning is absorbed by the slave. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. Training is in fact a continuum where instruction and learning flows back and forth in both directions. It is definitely a two-way process.
Yes, the Master instructs and the slave learns yet at the same time the Master is also learning and in a sense being taught. Perhaps not in the sense that the dominant is learning new skills or techniques, but he is learning about the new submissive, his own unique personality, capabilities and proclivities. These lessons help the Master formulate specific goals, plans and strategies for his training, training that is individualized and specific to his particular slave.
Beyond the fact that we share a common trait, the desire to submit, we all differ in most every other regard. Your kinks are most likely different from mine. Something I find intensely erotic you may find at best boring or even a complete turn off. The same is true of our individualized needs, wants, desires and even fears. Thus, it is a truly unwise dominant who labors under the false impression that one-size fits all and that every sub can be trained exactly the same way as the last. Effective training must be tailored to the specific individual.
Submissive Training Categories
I see the submissive training process as being composed of eight discrete areas or categories. There is some overlap between them so some may combine a few and end up with less. In the same way another might further divide categories and end up with more than eight. Yet it isn’t the number of categories that is important but what a submissive should be expected that he will be taught, learn and experience within the different areas. My eight training categories include…- Physical Training
- Verbal Training
- Mental Training
- Emotional Training
- Pratical Skills Training
- Rituals and Mantras
- Sexual Training
- Discipline and Correction
The first area of training I will discuss is …
Physical training
Physical training encompasses all areas requiring movements, positions and postures excluding for our purposes here, things sexual or pertaining to the acquisition of physical skills like dance. There are differences among dominants as to what physical training is desirable and important in the development of a submissive yet some things are commonly taught.Position Training
Position training is one example of physical training that many dominants feel is needed and beneficial. Also, there may be differences based on the sex of the submissive in question. Every dominant I have submitted to subjected me to position training. There are many sites on the web that illustrate the positions.All labeled with the Gorean names.
To digress briefly, while some may disagree, it is my opinion that the whole of BDSM not developed from the writings of Marquis De Sade comes from practices observed in the Gorean subculture. For the uninitiated, all things traditionally Gorean are derived from a series of books, science fiction novels written by John Norman which predominantly deal with sexual master-slave, power-exchange relationships on a mythical, counter-earth planet called Gor. All the positions that a submissive is typically required to learn are derived wholly or in substantial degree from positions Norman describes in the Gor series. At some point Gorean position training migrated to BDSM for use with both submissives and slaves.
A dominant generally provides instruction to a submissive on the positions that he feel are important and that the dominant finds personally appealing. In real-life relationships, the dominant verbally explains, coaches and may even model the positions that the submissive is expected to learn. On-line, the resources may come in form of written instructions or website references. There are actually a rather extensive number of positions but in my own experience I have never been required to learn them all. With positions we find the overlap between categories I alluded to in the introductory post. While position training is in the realm of physical training, there is also a mental aspect to it. In addition to having to learn to physically assume the positions a dominant wants mastered, the sub must also learn the name for each position so that they will be competent to assume any of the positions learned when given a brief voice command, or a physical cue like a hand signal. Position names required for memorization may be either the traditional Gorean names they are known by or newer names developed specifically for BDSM.
The purposes of position training is generally accepted to be that it trains a submissive to develop a habit of obedience, to be more mentally focused and attentive and to move fluidly between positions for the aesthetic pleasure of the dominant. There are also important practical applications for the positions. For example some positions lend themselves to use for inspecting, binding, disciplining or using a submissive sexually. Learning to hold a position for a substantial interval of times is useful for learning mental focus, improving physical condition and providing the dominant a useful means for “parking” a submissive whose services aren’t needed at the moment and who aren’t permitted to repose on furniture.
Posture Training
Posture training - learning to walk, move and hold oneself in a feminine manner, frequently is something thought highly desirable for male subs and sissy males to master but less important for masculine male subs. Posture is universally important for all when it comes to kneeling properly, the activity we look at next.Kneeling Training
Kneeling is another physical activity that most if not all dominants require. Kneeling is closely akin to position training because it is generally done using one of the positions taught, a low-kneeling or high-kneeling position or both. With kneeling, posture is generally important to a submissive regardless of sex since typically they are taught to position the feet, ankles and knees in a particular fashion, keep the back straight or slightly arched, the chest out and the eyes downcast.Kneeling has a variety of purposes and uses. It is a position that powerfully exemplifies the control and authority of the dominant and the subservience of the submissive. Kneeling is used as a sign of respect, adoration and worship. It is used to facilitate meditation and as an alternative to the use of furnishings when the dominant chooses not to permit use of furniture by the submissive.
Kneeling can be problematic for a submissive who suffers from knee problems or lower back pains. Typically dominants are understanding of physical disabilities that preclude kneeling and make necessary modifications where necessary.
Kneeling is something that requires training because many subs find it most uncomfortable to kneel for extended periods of time without a good deal of practice.
Other Physical Training
Sometimes dominants provide other types of physical training like stretching techniques to increase flexibility, Yoga positions and even exercise to promote fitness, toning or weight loss when they deem it necessary and appropriate.To conclude this section, in my own experience I have received physical training in positions, kneeling and enforced exercise. However, each dominant had their own preference when it came to which positions they desired that I master. Positions and kneeling are the two areas that I have found most personally meaningful in the experience and expression of my submission. Kneeling for the benefit of a powerful, dominant man affects me quite profoundly.
When a novice submissive first hears those fateful words from his dominant, “I am ready to begin your training,” or something similar, quite often the heart skips a beat, the pulse quickens, the eyes widen, the brow furrows and the stomach flutters.
By the time we enter into a relationship with a dominant, typically we have acknowledged if not embraced our submissive nature and we have resolutely decided to move forward in exploring it. Most of the time we are eager to learn more about the trappings of the lifestyle, we want to understand more about our submissive nature and we are committed to pleasing our dominant. So why is it that the idea of beginning training holds the power to be so unsettling?
I believe that the reason is this. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the unknown is a universal experience among humankind. It you think about it, I’m certain you can recall many times in your own past when you experienced it. The idea of submissive training makes us feel uneasy and insecure because we have so little knowledge about it.
Verbal Training
Addressing the Dominant
At its most basic, verbal training includes how the submissive addresses his dominant. It has been my experience that dominants have decided preferences about how a submissive is permitted to address them and you may be confident that this information will be provided to you. It has been my experience that once you have submitted to a dominant, in all likelihood you will never be allowed to address them in the manner you would address a friend, relative, co-worker or even someone you met at a social function.A good analogy I think is the way things are done in the military. Having served in the military, I have had commanding officers. As a pseudonym let’s call one of them Steven Smith. My commanding officer’s rank was captain. I was a sergeant at the time I served under Steven Smith, so he outranked me by a good margin. The military has a formal and expected way that you must address a person of superior rank to show proper respect and to acknowledge them as your superior. You are never permitted to address them informally by using their first name or by simply using their last name alone. The expected way to address a superior is by preceding their last name with their rank. Thus if I wished to begin a dialogue with Steven Smith I addressed him as “Captain Smith.” If Captain Smith was speaking to me and it became necessary for me to show my understanding of something or acknowledge an order, I could respond with “Yes, Captain Smith” or simply, “Yes, sir.” In a similar vein, when greeting him, I could say, “Good morning, Captain Smith,” “Good morning, Sir,” or even “Good morning, captain.” There is a similar protocol when it comes to addressing a Dom. Dominants typically will inform you of the honorarium that he expects (e.g., Master, Sir etc). My experiences with Masters has been quite similar to my military experiences.
The point is, as far as verbal training goes, the submissive is given a particular way of addressing his dominant and adherence is expected. Departure will likely result in swift correction. Many I’m sure are familiar with the old saying, “Familiarity breeds contempt.” What it means is allowing a person you have authority over to interact with you in an informal manner can erode that authority and your control. Thus, to effectively exercise power over them and command respect, they must be kept at arms length and allowed to interact with you on only a formal level.
Asking Questions and Offering Comments
Another part of verbal training involves the submissive asking questions of or offering comments to the dominant. In most instances, based on my experience, the submissive is never permitted to simply blurt out a question or make a comment without first asking permission (i.e.., “Master, may I ask a question” or “Master, may I make a comment”). Of course if asked by the dominant if he has comments or questions, then it is perfectly fine for the submissive to ask the questions or make the comments.Use of Third Person
Personally I think this next topic is an antiquated practice and actually more suited to master - slave relationships than D/s, but invariably some dominants still use it and so it bears covering. Some dominants forbid the submissive to use personal pronouns (I, me, my, etc.) when referring to themselves. So for example, referring back to the previous idea above, when seeking permission to ask a question or make a comment, the submissive would state, “Sir, may this submissive ask a question (offer a comment)?”This practice can be taken so far as, “Master, would it please you for your submissive to offer a comment?” When restricted from the use of personal pronouns to reference self, it sometimes requires some creativity to form the question or statement properly to comply with this speech restriction. I have been subjected to this, so despite my own personal opinions about the practice, it is still in use.
Similarly, a submissive may be restricted from laying verbal claim to anything including parts of his own body, prohibited from using words like my and mine.
Thus, as an example, in times past I have been required to “present” myself to a dominant, which is a formal ritual of sorts where the submissive offers individual sexual parts to the dominant for his use and pleasure. Thus, if I was offering my penis for the pleasure and use of my Master, I was not permitted to say, when restricted from the use of my and mine, “ Master , I offer my cock for your use and pleasure.” Instead I was required to say, Master , I offer your cock for your use and pleasure.” It sounds a bit weird at first, but as you may note the later statement eliminates the word “my” and also at the same time acknowledges that my Master rather than me owns my cock along with the rest of me.
Other Speech Restrictions
Besides personal pronouns, many dominants often choose to restrict the speech of the submissive in other ways. One personal example I have experienced is that I once had a Master who forbid me to use contractions either in speech or writing and if I did so, I received swift correction. Thus instead of “didn’t” I had to use “did not” or instead of “wouldn’t” I had to use “would not.” A dominant can simply choose any one word or multiple words and eliminate them from the vocabulary of the submissive.Use of Specific Words for Specific Things
The final topic I want to cover in verbal training is the required use of certain words. It could be considered the opposite of speech restriction. Instead of being forbidden to use a certain word or word form, some dominants require the use of specific words for specific things. These requirements often have a purpose and motive beyond just verbal training, but it still fits nicely into the category. Dominants may require a male submissive to use “dick” or “cock” instead of “penis” and “balls” or “nuts” in place of “testicles.” Also, often to accomplish other purposes, the dominant may choose to use and require the submissive to use unique words, especially for a one of their sexual parts.Mental training
Mental training is next up in our examination of submissive training. Training focused on the mental realm involves things like memorization, keeping a journal, improving concentration skills (i.e., meditation), acquiring new knowledge, improving problem solving skills and learning to bend the will more effectively to that of the dominant through development of greater determination to please and persistence to pursue tasks and assignments to successful conclusion. While more specifically associated with sexual conditioning, training a male submissive to orgasm on command can be considered a form of mental training.Meditation and Keeping a Journal
To a great degree, the effectiveness of mental training is as dependent on the efforts of the submissive as on the instructional talents of the dominant since it involves matters of the will. For example a dominant may decree that a submissive engage in daily meditation or require him to keep a daily journal, yet it is actually dependent upon the submissive whether those activities result in a meaningful outcome.As a person with a strong drive to please my dominant, in those instances when I was required to meditate or journal daily, I did apply my best efforts to those assignments and believe some of the most important breakthroughs I have experienced as a submissive occurred while engaging in those activities. Both provide opportunities for introspection that can reveal greater understanding of your submissive nature and how best to channel it for the mutual benefit of both partners in a D/s relationship. Generally with meditation, the dominant assigns a focus topic and dictates the environment and length of the meditation period.
Memorization
Memorization is sometimes used as a means of sharpening the mind of a submissive or to help establish a specific mindset that the dominant wishes to instill.While I have only had limited experience with memorization assignments personally, I have known a submissive whose dominant required him to memorize entire BDSM fiction stories and poems verbatim, which he was then equired to recite to him. My own experience has been limited to memorizing mantras, short statements that I was often required to compose myself, which were designed to pay tribute to my dominant or simply acknowledge him ownership and control.
Mantras are similar to the positive affirmations some people recite to promote the flow of positive energies to help them make life changes. The dominant that introduced me to mantras required me to compose a new once each week that I as required to recite aloud from memory a specific number of times each day. Personally, I found mantras to be very powerful in keeping me in a submissive mindset.
Acquiring New Knowledge
In the interest of acquiring new knowledge I have often been given, especially during the early years of my submissive journey, research assignments on topics provided by my dominant that pertained to the BDSM lifestyle. For example I once was assigned to research erotic humiliation. After completing the research, I was required to write a paper in which I communicated the facts I learned about erotic humiliation and shared my personal feelings about whether scenes involving erotic humiliation were something that appealed to me or produced arousal.Researching and writing assignments are often quite helpful in achieving growth and having your limits stretched. It is also effective in simply learning more about the lifestyle in general. Some dominants use research and writing assignments to lay the groundwork before introducing a submissive to some new scene activity that they have not yet experienced or that might even be a soft limit for them.
Occasionally dominants go as far as requiring their submissive to enroll in and complete formal education courses to enhance their general education or even require them to study and learn a foreign language.
Bending the Will
Dominants often engage in mental training for the purpose of helping a submissive to learn to be more obedient or less willful. One technique that I have experienced was being given small repetitive tasks to complete with a deadline.Oftentimes, activities like orgasm control and denial, clothing or food being chosen for the submissive and a host of other things are required by dominants for mental training purposes. Using orgasm control as an example, while an activity that accomplishes sexual ends, it also reinforces for the submissive the dominant’s control and ownership, hence bending the will of the submissive to the dominant’s will.
In summary, mental training is one of the most effective tools in a dominant’s training tool box to instill knowledge, establish and maintain a framework of control over a submissive and to reinforce obedient behavior.
At first blush one might be tempted to combine submissive emotional training with the mental training category, but I believe the two, while akin, are not the same. Recall the last time you did or said something when you were angry. It is easy to see that emotions are not the rational cognitive thought processes we think of when we use the word mental.
Emotional Training
The Emotions
Emotions, often called feelings include experiences such as love, hate, anger, trust, joy, panic, fear, and grief. Emotions are specific reactions to a particular event that are usually of fairly short duration.Emotions and Submissive Training
Dominants subject a submissive to emotional training for numerous reasons and purposes; to help the submissive overcome unhelpful emotions (e.g., fear, guilt, shame), to control emotional expression by the submissive, to facilitate openness on the part of the submissive and to extinguish things like dishonesty, possessiveness, materialism, jealousy, stubbornness, resistance, bratiness, surliness and egotism.Emotional Training and the Sexual
The last area of emotional training I will touch on has to do with how it is used within the realm of sex. Sexual training is an entire category that we have yet to cover, but there are aspects of sex between a dominant and a submissive that fall in the emotional training area and so I will touch on it briefly. If you have ever reviewed either alone or with a dominant one of the many different types of scene questionnaires, I am certain that many of you have probably seen certain erotic activities or sexual acts that you simply can’t imagine participating in or enjoying. These things might be your limits, either hard or soft. Dominants utilize emotional training to help break down barriers and to stretch those soft limits by eliminating the emotional responses that a submissive has to a particular activity or act so that they become willing to at least experiment with it if not eventually embrace it.Pratical Skills Training
Practical skills training is perhaps the area with the largest variety in training that a new submissive might be exposed. For the purposes of this discussion I will divide practical skills training into three main areas; domestic skills, social skills and artistic expression.Domestic Skills
Domestic skills training is primarily concerned with real-life, D/s relationships where part of a submissive’s duties relate to maintaining a dominant’s household.Social Skills
Social skills training that might be expected to be received by a submissive whose dominant enjoys entertaining and hosting home parties might include learning formal serving practices, place settings and presentation skills. Acquiring or brushing up on social etiquette skills is another possibility for those charged with preparing, sending out and responding to social invitations. In some relationships, the submissive becomes in a very real sense, a personal assistant to the dominant and may be called upon to answer personal correspondence, return telephone calls and the like. Thus, a submissive without good letter writing skills might receive personal instruction from the dominant, some other qualified person or simply be provided with appropriate written resources to help them develop letter writing skills.Artistic Expression
The obvious skills related to artistic expression that a submissive might be expected to acquire include learning to dance, sing, play a musical instrument, paint or write stories or poetry. Craft making is another area related to artistic expression and a submissive might be called on to learn skills associated with making BDSM specific jewelry or BDSM toys and equipment like restraints, floggers, etc. I was once required to design and make a “humbler” CBT device because a former Master desired to employ one in our scenes and wished to save me the expense of purchasing a commercial model. The kinds of practical skills training that a submissive might expect to receive are really limited only by the interests, desires and creativity of his dominant. The primary purpose of practical skills training is enable the submissive to provide more competent and pleasing service and to help them become more well-rounded persons overall.Rituals
Rituals have been used by pagans and religions for thousands of years to deepen psychic and spiritual awareness. At its most basic, a ritual may be defined as any formalized action or set of actions, repeated in a specific and structured way. Rituals are processed at the inner self or subconscious level making the practice of rituals a very effective means of shaping a person’s beliefs, self-image, thoughts and behavior. Thus, rituals are a key part of submissive training and a tool often used by dominants.BDSM activities easily lend themselves to rituals. Dominants use rituals in submissive training for two primary purposes - modification and maintenance. Rituals have the power to modify and change the thoughts and behaviors of a submissive, preparing them to serve and to grow in ways they would not otherwise be able to do. Observance of rituals helps to ground a submissive by providing times of inner reflection and giving a sense of form and grace to the services he performs.
When activities, techniques and spirituality come together in the context of rituals, there can be compelling form, grace and beauty in the practice and experience of the BDSM lifestyle. Rituals can provide inner peace and self-confidence for the submissive and can help form and strengthen the bond between dominant and submissive.
While there are some recognized BDSM ceremonies, such as collaring ceremonies, normal presentation, etc., there are no recognized BDSM rituals. There are however a few points that dominant’s generally bear in mind when creating and using rituals.
- Rituals have an exactly repeatable structure, basically a script. Repeating the same thing regularly helps it become a habit that sinks deep into the self-conscious.
- Rituals should have a definite purpose, objective or goal. Whether the submissive is aware of it or not, the dominant should be.
- The most effective rituals have a direct link to specific activities or events.
- Rituals should be simple, using relatively few words and acts.
- Rituals should have a definite beginning and end.
- The number of rituals should be limited. Too many and they become difficult to remember, a burden and limit spontaneity.
Sexuality in the Context of BDSM
Certainly BDSM includes many of the familiar vanilla-type sex acts and activities, but of course a great deal more. People are unique in every way and a person’s proclivities, tastes and appetites when it comes to sex is no exception. What some people find sexually arousing can be a huge turnoff for others and vice versa. Beyond simple male-anus intercourse, possibilities for sexual training topics for the novice submissive include things like;- Learning to experience increased arousal
- Learning to become sexual in new ways
- Overcoming sexual blocks (e.g., mental, moral, ethical, shame)
- Erotic movement (e.g., erotic dance, striptease, pole dancing)
- Restrictions on masturbation frequency
- Orgasm control/denial
- Overcoming body shame
Whenever a dominant considers a new submissive for training, the first step is an assessment where the dominant seeks to learn about the specific needs, wants, strengths, weaknesses and desires of the sub. This assessment certainly includes sexual aspects but is not limited only to that. Quite often, sexual training and sexual activities a submissive is exposed to have other purposes and objectives in mind beyond merely someone experiencing a great orgasm.
Assessment tools often used include discussions between the dominant and submissive, a play partner or scene
questionnaire and written assignments given by the dominant to the submissive. The goal of the assessment phase is for the dominant to learn where the submissive is in terms of attitude towards service, towards a willingness to attend the needs of the dominant and their attitudes towards sexual service and play. Limits, both soft and hard are also identified during this phase. The assessment process when concluded will reveal whether the two are a good match with enough common interests to sustain a successful relationship. It also gives the dominant insight into the specific areas of training and development a new submissive needs and will benefit from.
Completing a play partner or scene questionnaire can seem more than a little daunting as well as intimidating for a new submissive who in many cases may not have a clue about what many of the listed activities entail. This obstacle can be overcome by asking questions of the dominant for clarification and/or by consulting a good BDSM terms dictionary or glossary That should provide at least a basic understanding of what unfamiliar terms imply.
The Thrust of Sexual Training and Development
Just as in about any other training environment, the purpose of sexual training is to promote growth, enhance skills, promote the acquisition of new skills and to bring a trainee’s performance up to the highest possible level. The submissive must be trained to the level where he can deliver efficient, effective and pleasing service to the dominant and at the same time have the most meaningful and fulfilling submissive experience possible.Skills Improvement
We all come into the lifestyle with some degree of sexual skills from our vanilla experiences. We may even believe that we are already very proficient in a particular area like giving oral sex as one example. Still the truth is we can always improve and learn new techniques. Thus a dominant may prescribe training to improve the oral sex skills of the submissive.Learning to Become Sexual in New Ways
Learning to become sexual in new ways implies the acquisition of new skills and gaining exposure to new sexual activities. As one example, it is easy to imagine that a new submissive with little or no anal sex experience, for whom anal sex is not a limit, receiving training and development in that area. The are so many potential areas for training and developing a new submissive and helping them to learn to become sexual in new ways, that there are almost an infinite number of examples one could envision.Training Delivery Methods
The nuts and bolts of how submissive training and development is accomplished is dependent to a large degree on whether the relationship with a dominant takes places face to face or in an online environment. In real life experiences, generally the dominant will provide the training and instruction directly to the submissive. Starting slowly, with brief periods of instruction and simple activities, the dominant begins to introduce the submissive to new experiences.In online relationships, the distance element presents challenges, but actually, with a little imagination and creativity, almost any BDSM activity can be explored to some degree and training accomplished. The typical method of training delivery in the online arena is accomplished by the dominant providing the sub with tasks to perform. Written instructions or resources like educational material in print or online can be provided to the submissive along with the task assignments. The submissive researches the activity and then performs the assignments. In many cases, after the task has been performed the submissive either discusses the task experience with the dominant in chat or by phone, or may be required to submit a written report on his experiences by email. The report may be supplemented with digital photos to demonstrate performance of key elements. It is also common these days for tasks to be performed interactively on video cam while the dominant watches and gives instructions.
Discipline and Correction
Discipline and correction and how it relates to submissive training will be the final category discussed in this basic introduction to submissive training content and techniques. Some might see these two terms as meaning essentially the same thing. Others might wonder why punishment was not included in the title. To address the latter first, correction may involve punishment but punishment is generally punitive while correction need not be punitive at all. A review of the following definitions should show that while all three terms are related, there are clear distinctions.Defining the Terms
Discipline -“Training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. Control gained by enforcing obedience or order. A rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity.”
Correction -
“The action or an instance of correcting. A bringing into conformity with a standard. Something substituted in place of what is wrong.”
Punishment -
“The act of punishing. Imposing a penalty on for a fault, offense, or violation. Inflicting a penalty for the commission of an offense in retribution or retaliation.
Source: Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
Clearly all three terms are related to a degree but each have differences in meaning and context that demonstrates they should all be considered independently.
What to Expect From Discipline and Correction Training
Discipline and correction covers a fairly broad area in submissive training, including…- Maintaining stillness
- Accepting restrictions on movement
- Being unobtrusive
- Posture
- Being restrained
- Delaying gratification
- Acceptance of pain
- Accepting punishment in the way
dominant requires
Specifics of Discipline
Restrictions on movement is one aspect that I think it fair to say, every new submissive will experience to a great extent, both in initial and continuing training from a dominant. Typically except where freedom of movement is equired to accomplish some task assignment, such as household cleaning, gardening or meal preparation, a submissive is typically not free to roam about as they desire.When not actually serving the dominant or being used by the dominant, the submissive is usually “parked” or placed on a specific spot to await instructions or use by the dominant. When parked, the submissive is expected to remain quiet, still and to exhibit good posture. At the very least, speaking without permission (unless authorized in advance), fidgeting about or letting the eyes roam all about the room are generally not permitted. Real life D/s relationships involve a great deal more of this than an online one, where the submissive generally enjoys greater freedom and autonomy. The dominant may have to use more creative instructional methods to teach a submissive discipline in an online environment. As an example, I was once required to kneel in a designated spot in my own home for a half-hour at the same time each day, forbidden to answer the phone, go to the bathroom, get a drink, or anything else so that I could learn to accept restrictions on movement, work on posture, and cultivate the ability to be quiet and still for an extended period of time.
Specifics of Correction
While dominants are typically quite patient and give a new submissive time to acclimate to all the new things encountered when new to the lifestyle, after a certain point, the dominant will expect the submissive to have learned and retain the things they have been taught. Early on, a dominant might just provide a quick verbal correction if the submissive should forget a rule or do something wrong but the time will come when mistakes will receive more firm correction since the dominant does not wish the submissive to slip into bad habits. Correction sometimes takes the form of something as simple as the dominant making an on the sport correction during positions training like, “spread you knees wider” or “move your knees an inch closer together.” These type of corrections I tend to refer to as active coaching. Negative reinforcement can be a feature of correction, but correction, unlike punishment is non-punitive.Specifics of Punishment
While punishment will likely be experienced less often than either discipline or correction, punishment is perhaps the broadest component under the category simply because punishment can be meted out in so many different ways. Just as some parents believe and spanking and others do not, there are varied philosophies regarding how to punish among dominants.Punishment can roughly be divided into two primary categories…
- Corporal punishment
- Non-corporal punishment
Corporal punishment
Corporal punishment in the form of spanking, whipping, caning, slapping and the like is sometimes meted out as punishment but the use of corporal punishment is in my experience used sparingly for several reasons.Some dominants see positive reinforcement as a better means of shaping a sub’s behavior and so do not rely on the negative reinforcement of corporal punishment. Another consideration is that many subs are masochists and so corporal punishment might be perceived as a reward rather than as correction and thus ineffective except when used with subs who do not have a masochistic
streak. Lastly, many dominants refuse to use things involved in play and scenes as punishment because they do not wish to confuse the submissive, wishing to maintain a clearly positive, erotic connection with these things. Thus if spanking is often an activity used in play, it is unlikely to be used as a punishment.
Non-corporal punishment
Non-corporal punishment techniques are the techniques more often used both in real life relationships as well as online. Punishments of this type are generally quite effective in getting a dominant’s point across and as will be seen, lend themselves much more easily to online training than corporal techniques.A few examples of non-corporal punishments techniques often used include…
- The submissive is not permitted to play with the dominant.
- The submissive is not permitted to use the dominant’s name (e.g., Master).
- The submissive is not permitted to wear his collar.
- The submissive is not permitted orgasms.
- The submissive is not permitted to walk upright but must crawl.
- The submissive is required to stand in a corner.
- The submissive is required to write essays on the topic requiring the punishment or may be required to write repetitive sentences (i.e., “I will not whine, pout or behave like a spoiled brat”).
- The submissive is required to eat or drink from a pet bowl.
trainherwell.blogspot.gr/2012/02/slave-training-instructions.html
